Counting the Dead
by Black Onyx Angel
Summary: One survivor visits the graveyard.


Counting the Dead

  


A/N: This title just wouldn't leave me alone till I wrote a story to go with it. We all know that I don't own Harry Potter and Co. And now you shall know that I do not own Godsmack, either. This song is from their 'Faceless' cd... the song is called 'Serenity'. Mentions of yaoi (guy loves guy type thing)

  
  


You'd think I'd notice the cold. But I don't. I don't notice much anymore.

  


The sky is overcast. The clouds threatening rain. But I don't notice. I'm too wrapped up inside my own turmoil.

  


There's a storm raging. I notice that. But I only notice it because it's flooding my mind, my memories.__

  


_As I sit here_

_And slowly close my eyes_

_I take another deep breath_

_And feel the wind pass through my body_

  


There is the plot of land where Hermione was laid to rest. She died during the months before the last battle. Lucius killed her.

  


He lies there. Three plots down. And on either side lie Narcissa and Draco.

  


Lucius died right after Hermione. Ron's vengence.

  


Draco died by Voldemort's hand. He was caught spying for us.

  


Narcissa died from grief, three months after Draco was buried.

  


_I'm the one in your soul_

_Reflecting inner light_

_Protect the ones who hold you_

_Cradling your inner child_

  


Ron lies there, between Hermione and the twins. He died during the same battle as Hermione. Too distracted with grief to fight, he took the Killing Curse on his back as he cradled Hermione to him.

  


The twins, Fred and George, died in the next battle. The same one that took Bill and Charlie. They rest by the twins.

  


Mr. and Mrs. Weasley didn't have much time to grieve before the Death Eaters went to their house and killed them in the middle of the night. They're there, by Charlie.

  


_I need serenity_

_In a place where I can hide_

_I need serenity_

_Nothing changes, days go by_

  


Hagrid lies there under that oak tree. It took three Killing Curses before the Death Eaters killed him.

  


Over there, by the willow tree, lie Sirius and Remus. Sirius died in my fifth year. He stumbled behind the veil in the Department of Mysteries. That's just an empty plot with a tombstone for him. Remus didn't die till the final battle, but I think he was glad to go. He had said to bury him by Sirius, so we did.

  


Dumbledore lies there, halfway between the oak and the willow. Next to him is McGonagall. Dumbledore died of a heart attack. McGonagall died of a broken heart.

  


_Where do we go when we just don't know?_

_And how do we re-light the flame when it's cold?_

_Why do we dream when our thoughts mean nothing?_

_And when will we learn to control?_

  


Flitwick and Sprout lie over by the edge of the graveyard. They, too, died in the final battle.

  


Trelawny, the old fake that she was, died in the battle before Hermione. She lies by herself, over in that corner.

  


_Tragic visions_

_Slowly stole my life_

_Tore away everything_

_Cheating me out of my time_

  


Seamus and Dean died after the final battle. Their wounds had been critical and infection didn't help matters. They lie on the other side of Hermione. Between her and Lucius.

  


Neville slit his own wrists after the end of the war. Survivor's guilt. He's buried there on the other side of Mrs. Weasley.

  


_I'm the one who loves you_

_No matter wrong or right_

_And everyday I hold you_

_I hold you with my inner child_

  


And here, lying in front of me.

  


Here lies the one I miss the most, the one I needed the most.

  
  


_I need serenity_

_In a place where I can hide_

_I need serenity_

_Nothing changes, days go by_

  


It's so different without him at Hogwarts.

  


True, the school wouldn't have been the same, even had he survived. But he hadn't.

  


He hadn't survived and I hate him for it.

  


_Where do we go when we just don't know?_

_And how do we re-light the flame when it's cold?_

_Why do we dream when our thoughts mean nothing?_

_And when will we learn to control?_

  


Do I really hate him for it?

  


Not really, no. I don't hate him.

  


_Where do we go when we just don't know?_

_And how do we re-light the flame when it's cold?_

_Why do we dream when our thoughts mean nothing?_

_And when will we learn to control?_

  


He died saving me.

  


That is probably the thing I hate. The reason he died is what I loathe.

  


He took the Killing Curse meant for me.

  


_(I need serenity)_

  


So I could live to kill Voldemort. And I succeeded too. He lies there, in the far corner, by himself. Alone in death as in life.

  


_Where do we go when we just don't know? (I need serenity)_

_And how do we re-light the flame when it's cold? (I need serenity)_

_Why do we dream when our thoughts mean nothing? (I need serenity)_

_When will we learn to control?_

  


There's an empty plot next to the one I'm standing before. One that may remain empty for years, or might be filled tomorrow.

  


I hate living without him. He may have been a Greasy Bastard, but he was my Greasy Bastard. Mine.

  


And now he's not. He belongs to Death now, and I envy Death.

  


Death holds my heart and soul within it's black clutches, and I don't feel anything now. I haven't felt anything since he died for me. Since he died protecting 'The Boy Who Lived'.

  


So I stay here.

  


I stay here to be near to Severus and my friends.

  


I stay here, counting the dead.

  


A/N: Um... what do you think?


End file.
